Practice Makes Better

My youngest daughter, Mary, has been a listmaker since she was tiny. She is punctual, particular about her things, and naturally organized. I marvel at her daily and scratch my head in confusion, wondering where in the world she acquired these Type A traits….from her father perhaps? Certainly not from me! If I imagine our minds as gardens, I picture hers as tidy and landscaped with neatly trimmed hedges and mine as a field of wildflowers. 

The thing about a mind full of unkempt wildflowers is that it’s easy to get a little lost sometimes, running around in circles, always wondering if I’m coming or going. And since wildflowers are all I’ve ever known, I was convinced for most of my adult life that the grass was indeed quite greener in that other yard across the street, all freshly mowed and easy to navigate. 

For decades, I viewed my wild-flowerness as a flaw to be eradicated but no matter hard I tried to copy other landscapes, those determined wildflowers kept popping up all haphazardly ruining the vision I’d crafted for myself of what a “good” woman (friend, mother, daughter, wife, neighbor, team member, Orthodox Christian…) should be. 

I remember a conversation I had years ago with Presbytera Stacey Dorrance when we were creating the Six Weeks to Sanity course. I was lamenting my history of scatteredness, forgetfulness, and inconsistency and how after countless failed attempts to change my defaults settings, I’d finally just given up and surrendered to the chaos. Her response helped me reframe a perfectionistic perspective I’d allowed to sabotage my growth for such a very long time. 

She explained that we each had strengths that came naturally to us, strengths to nurture and develop for the benefit of all. We also have weaknesses, every single one of us. No one is getting an “A” in every facet of their lives, and expecting that I could/should was setting myself up for despair. That being said, just because I might never score an “A” in discipline and organization doesn’t mean I can’t substantially improve my quality of life by going from a “D” to “B-”.  

It’s not about changing who I am but rather becoming even more fully and authentically who God created ME to be. To do so, I needed to recognize my gifts and proactively develop them, share them, give thanks for them, while at the same time putting an intentional plan in place for protecting my growth from impulsive habits that derail my efforts to BLOOM where I’ve been planted.  

I was created to be a field full of wildflowers: colorful, compassionate, quick to laugh, brimming over with ideas, a bridge builder, a peacemaker, a lover of beauty. Do you need an accountant? A payroll specialist? An auditor? I suggest you look elsewhere. 

Do you need a hype-man? A safe space to be vulnerable? Help with reframing a negative perspective? Well, I’M YOUR GIRL! 

Reflective inner work (journaling, weekly planning, prayerful silence) has helped me identify both my unique gifts and the areas of my life where I could use some support, accountability, and mentoring. Reaching out for help has equipped me with new tools and resources for weeding my beautiful whimsical garden and for carving out some new unencumbered paths for moving forward. 

It turns out a Type B 50-year-old can indeed learn new tricks! It is never too late to make a fresh start! Practice makes better, and better is enough for accessing joy and renewal through little victories.