O calm Haven of the storm-tossed

“St. John Chrysostom said 'Find the door of your heart, you will discover it is the door of the Kingdom of God.' So it is inward that we must turn, and not outward - but inward in a very special way. I'm not saying that we must become introspective. I don't mean that we must go inward in the way one does in psychoanalysis or psychology. It is not a journey into my own inwardness, it is a journey through my own self, in order to emerge from the deepest level of self into the place where He is, the point at which God and I meet.” 
― Anthony Bloom, Beginning to Pray

 Christ did not promise the absence of storms but rather peace in the midst of them. But accessing this peace requires a journey deeply inward, where no earthly reasoning, expectations, imaginings, or distractions abide. It is the quiet peace of yielding rather than resisting, of stillness rather than struggle, of holding things lightly, of gentleness, patience, and trust.

When the sea is untroubled, I lose the urgency to seek after God like the pearl of great price. It is only when the waves swell and crash and I’m on the verge of going under that I wholeheartedly cling to Christ as my only source of safety. It is the single-mindedness of desperation that makes possible the leap of faith from despair to hope through becoming receptive to God’s will for my future and loved ones.  It is the self-emptying search for God that leads me away from worldly chaos and towards the door of my heart, through which is the Kingdom of Heaven.  

But how do I remain there, still and calm in the eye of the storm while the winds rage around me?

By proceeding prayerfully and intentionally with attentiveness and vigilance,

Yes, to quiet, breathwork, journaling, gratitude, scripture, Church services, connectedness, creativity, movement, nature, and staying anchored to the present moment.

Yes, to detaching from news and noise. Yes, to listening instead of ruminating. Yes, to letting all the light possible into my mind, soul, and body through nourishing habits and rituals. Yes, to remembering God’s faithfulness in the past and making room for Him to act in this current salvific trial.

 Oh friend, are you sinking? Are your eyes on the waves and wind?

Pause. Breathe. Pray. Descend. Meet Christ in the depths of your being.

Oh Lord our God, you gave your peace to men and sent down the gift of your All-holy Spirit upon Your disciples and apostles, and by Your power You opened their lips with tongues of fire. Open also my lips and teach me, sinner though I am, how and for what I should pray. Guide my life, O calm Haven of the storm-tossed, and reveal the way in which I should walk. Renew a right spirit within me, and with your Sovereign Spirit steady my mind, that guided and guarded each day by Your good Spirit, I may be able to practice Your commandments, always remembering Your glorious presence that looks upon the deeds of men. Let me not be deceived by the corrupting delights of this world, but rather strengthen in me the desire to attain the treasures of the world to come. For blessed and praised are You in all Your saints forever and ever. Amen.

 - A Morning prayer from the Ancient Faith Prayer Book

*sketch drawn by my son, Benjamin : ) 

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